Today i met a friend and we talked about my mom and why I'm not having contact to her right now.
Her first child was born just a few weeks ago, and of course she see's things from a different point of view now.
I know it is hard to understand why i made this decision. Especially when you put yourself in the position of my mom and imagine your own kids are acting like i did.
I know my friend just cares about me and wanted to make sure i wouldn't regret my choice. And I'm really grateful for that! I don't know, maybe someday i might regret not having spent more time with my mom. But right now it is the best decision i could have made.. Even though most people don't understand why.
I really really need some time without her in my life now.. to protect my mental health!! I know that dealing with her right no just makes me sick. I've been having some really awful years lately and i had to fight depression and anxieties. It wasn't all her fault but it had an awful lot to do with her: with dealing with her problem besides mine, with my past, my childhood and everything that happened. I just need to put everything behind me and for the moment that includes my mom too! and if i don't do it now, it might be too late for me.
I know i made the right decision. Even if no one might really understand it.
1 comments:
I actually understand completely. I have a similarly unhealthy relationship w/my Mom. I do communicate w/her a little, but I keep that communication to a minimum. She doesn't realize how negatively she effects people, especially her own children. I empathize completely. HUGS!
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